In Need....

I am sorely in need of a break!  Life has dumped a lot on my shoulders lately and the pressure is starting to get to me.  I know I've gotten cranky and difficult.  I need to get away from everyday life and take a break from everything on my shoulders.

And thankfully, that break is coming this weekend!!!!  I will be joining some very good friends and amazing women for a weekend away in Island Park!  

Ahhhh......a weekend of music, games, movies, sleeping in, napping, good food, even better company, and no stress....hello HEAVEN....you are only 2 days away!
  

Life is nothing if not interesting.  No matter how well you plan, or what you want for your life, sometimes things happen and life has it's own plans.  I've been faced with some things lately that, while they've come about because of my own decisions, they are far from what I ever planned to have happen.  Sometimes you just go along, thinking you're doing the best you can, and you don't realize until it's too late that your best isn't good enough.  It's a hard realization.  Because of that, I've had a lot of moments of questioning myself...my worth, my abilities, my value.  I tend to internalize things a lot and not express what I'm feeling.  I have some wonderful friends, but I don't tend to unload my problems on them.  So this is something I've been dealing with alone.  Finally this week, I opened up to two very special people, who both mean very much to me for different reasons.  Neither of them were able to solve my problem....and in fact, I am not sure that there is a solution for my problem.  But I wanted to thank these two dear, wonderful friends.  You were there for me when I needed you.  You gave me your ear, your shoulder, and your kind, caring, and non judgemental compassion.  You helped me to believe in myself a little bit again, and I love you both very much.

In the process of the last few months, in addition to the bad choices I've made, I've hurt someone who had become incredibly important to me.  The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt Matthew, but I did.  And I've learned that "I'm sorry" doesn't always make things better.  Sometimes when you hurt someone you care for, you don't always get a second chance.  And you don't realize the worth of what you had until you've lost it.  I know it doesn't make things better, or change what happened, but I'm so, so sorry Matthew.  You are an amazing person and I will alway regret damaging our relationship.

I'm a very musical person.  I listen to music when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm depressed, when I'm working, when I'm working out, when I'm driving....pretty much always.  I've found a few songs that have literally got me through the last few weeks.

I heard this song for the very first time one day when I was having a very, very hard day.  I was feeling very low.   

 

I got this song from my friend Stacey.  I just love it.   

 

This song is an old friend and favorite.  I cried the first time I ever heard this song.  Since that night, it's been my go to song when I'm down.  When Josh hears it playing on my iPod or laptop, he immediately comes to me and gives me a hug, and says, Just so you know, I love you.  I think that means I'm predictable!  

I just read something from someone called the FlyLady, who teaches women how to take control of their homes and lives.  She teach people to learn to FLY....Finally Love Yourself.  That's what I'm working on.  I'm working on learning to forgive myself for my shortcomings and learning to realize that it's OK--that even when I fail, or let down the people who depend on me, I'm still OK.  And with the amazing friends I'm blessed with, I must be doing something right!  

I stole this from my sister in law, because I loved it so much.

HANDBOOK 2011

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..

4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy

5. Make time to pray.

6. Play more games

7. Read more books than you did in 2010 .

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

9. Sleep for 7 hours.

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.



Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.

14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..

18. Forget issues of the past.. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...



Society:

25. Call your family often.

26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.



Life:

32. Do the right thing!

33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. GOD heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come.

38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.

39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.