My heart is sad

So, I know I have admitted that I am a huge Red Sox fan. Not that I find this to be a problem, mind you...rather, I embrace it! About three years ago, I stumbled across this Red Sox chat board. I found that in my spare time, I'd go in & see what poeple had to say on this board. In time, I got so that I would contribute when I felt that I had something to say. What has happened over the last three years has been something that is pretty cool to me. There has been a group of us on this board who have really meshed. These people, although I have never had the privilege of meeting them face to face, have become friends. They've become people who I care about & people with whom I talk to about more than baseball.

In particular on this group, I met a gentleman named Robert White. For the entire time that I have known Robert, he has been courageously and valiently battling cancer. Robert became something of a father figure to me. Robert was always kind, compassionate, and caring. He always took the time to ask how someone else was. While he was always upfront about his battle and his pains, he never dwelled on the problems in his life. In the last two years, I've had personal demons I've faced that quite honestly, I am not 100% sure I would have made it through without Robert. We became fast friends over the email and phone.

For awhile, it looked like Robert was going to win the battle with this insideous disease. Sadly, things took a turn for the worse after the first of the year, and on February 9th, Robert lost his battle with cancer. He was 50 years old. In the days since his death, I've been able to share my grief with the others on the board who knew him and loved him. I've been somehow amazed at the outpouring of love, thanks, and grief that have come from all of these people I've made friends with on this board. It is somehow odd to think of the impact that this one individual has had on so many indivduals, most of whom never met him. I mean odd not in the way that you would normally think of the word, but more in a way of saying, what a miracle Robert was.

I have spent the last week since Robert's death trying to imagine this baseball season without him. Part of me does not understand why I'm dealing with so much grief over someone that I never met. But mostly, I am so grateful for the blessing that I was able to receive. The blessing of a wonderful friend who had a terrific impact on my life in such a positive way. Robert had an ability that not many do...he was able to look past his own life, and his own trials, and truly care about the people around him. He was a true friend who loved as purely as Christ did. I pray that I will be able to be a friend to others as he was to me & to so many others I know.

Robert, I will miss you. We will all miss you on the board, and I know from emailing your sweet wife how much your family will miss you. But I rejoice in my knowledge of what you are doing now. Your passing from this earth was merely then end of your mission here. I know that you are now performing a much higher mission on the other side. As you so often did here on earth, please continue to keep me in your prayers, as you will be in mine.

Oh yeah, and remember that extra heavenly pull for our beloved Red Sox!