Why does it always seem that burdens that seem too heavy to bear often come to us during the times of the year that should be the most joyful? I had a really hard time finding my Christmas spirit this year, so once I found a little bit of it, I decided to spend this Christmas season focusing only on my blessings and the gifts in my life.
Yesterday, I found out that a member of my family who I love very much is going through an extremely difficult time in his life that is going to have a large effect on our entire family and will significantly change my life. I'm trying very hard to focus on my family member and not feel sorry for myself for the changes this will bring in my life. I can't imagine what he is feeling and what he will be going through as he works through this. A part of me though, is busy feeling sorry for myself and not wanting anything in my life to change. There are many times when I feel like I'm barely hanging on as it is.
However, as I've had time to reflect last night and today, I find myself so incredibly grateful for the atonement, especially at this time. Without the ultimate sacrifice made for us by our Savior, my Savior, I don't know what I would do. I know that I am far, far, far from perfect & am so grateful that I am able to repent when I need to. I will never be able to properly show my gratitude to my Savior for what he's given to me.
I just finished reading a book I got for Christmas called The Christmas Sweater, by Glenn Beck. If you have not read it, I would strongly recommend that you do. Little did I know when I asked for this book how much I would truly need it right now. What a beautiful message it contains!! As I was finishing it up this afternoon, one line in particular struck me a great deal. "Sometimes the hardest part of the journey is believing that you're worthy of the trip." That's a hard one for me. I often have a hard time remembering that I'm worthy of the trip. But I am. I am worthy of the trip. My family member is worthy of the trip. You're worthy of the trip. Don't ever forget that.
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I am so sorry that things are hard for you right now. I am thinking of you and you are in my prayers...hope things get better...but remember, they often times get harder...it's a not-so-funny thing but it's good in the end! Love ya!!!
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